Monday, May 28, 2012

The Avengers: A Movie Review

Have you seen The Avengers yet? No? Well then go crawl back under your rock and join the only other person in the world because everyone and their brother has seen this blockbuster hit. But, you should read this review first- in case you do feel like joining the rest of civilization. Spoiler alert though.

So The Avengers huh...rated 8.7 on IMDd and making billions at the box office? It must be worth a go! So me, being the frugal human I am, decided to go at 10:00 in the morning to skip the $12 movie ticket, and see what all this hype was all about.  I did a little research beforehand, and painfully sat through Captain America and Thor--both of which relied more on brawns than brains. But it was going to be worth it, everyone said Avengers was going to be so good!

As I settled into my seat with the two other senior citizens in the movie theater, I started to pay attention to the movie trailers. Batman, Spiderman, Prometheus, The Expendables 2....seriously, was there any superhero not saving the world in 2012? And hold-up, didn't I just watch all of these movies a few years ago?? But whatever, these "silent your cellphone" previews are going.

It started off on a high note, it really did! That Legolas guy , I think he will be my favorite. I like the way he acts all stealthily.
But then he gets possessed by an evil gust of electricity!! So soon?? Nooo!!! He was my favorite.

Ok next....wait. Was that Aunt Robin???  For all you HIMYM fans, can't you just imagine Ted saying, "Kids, in the summer of 2012, your Aunt Robin was cast in a movie as a pointless sidekick."

Ok, back to the movie. Obligatory sexy Scarlett Johansson scene? Check. Obligatory snarky Ironman dialogue? Check. Avengers Assemble!

At this point, all I know is that some villain named Loki (seriously? Loki is a cute name for a puppy!) wants to take over the world with ugly ass aliens. Here Loki Loki! Bad boy! 

Ok, fighting here. Fighting there. Oh look, here comes Thor! More is there a greater plot that will reveal itself or is it all fighting? Doesn't look like it.

Legolas is still bad for the majority of the movie though! Whyy?? Oh, never mind, he suddenly wakes up now. No more possessed Legolas! On the plus side, the Hulk actually calls him Legolas once! Blink and you'll miss it, but I caught it.

Final battle. First they're all kicking ass, but then we insert "All hope is lost" montage here. Hulk comes and saves the day though, and YAY! Next thing you know we're looking for Shawarma spots. I bet the Shawarma Spot in DC got a boost in sales this summer.

And the end, but wait! Not without some sort of lead in to the next movie!

So here's my qualm with the Avengers. Or I guess with the concept in general. I watched Ironman, Captain America, and Thor, and they all seemed like mini leadins to this movie. It made those feel like copouts as movies, and this movie as the motherlode, but its leading into the next movie now too. This movie ended up disappointing my expectations by becoming just another Transformer movie. There were too many personalties, too many fight scenes, and not enough emotion.

I give it three Legolas's and a Gimli out of five.

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